STAY FOCUSED and RELAXED - at the same time!

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Top performers know that the secret to success and “being in the flow” is being

Focused AND Relaxed – at the same time.

Does this seem impossible to you?


Be honest - when you're talking to someone, are you thinking about:

A. What you're going to say next.
B. How soon you can end this interaction.
C. Judging them (as Tony DiNozzo from N.C.I.S. said, "Put down the gavel, take off your robe and quit judging!")
D. Whether you're having Flamin' Hot Cheetos or a salad for lunch.
E. None of the above - I'm a saint!

Even if you picked E, this is still a fun tool to try for 1 week.  

drum roll... Here it is!

When someone is talking, just LISTEN. Only ask them about what they just said. Don't say anything about yourself, your experience with the topic, or your opinion.

For example, if they say "I really like Colorado", instead of saying, "Me too", ask them what they like about it. If they say, "I love the mountain air and hiking", instead of saying "Yeah, the last time I was there...blah, blah, blah", ask them where they went hiking, if there were any bears, what kind of boots they wore, etc.

Apply this no matter what the topic is. If they are complaining, don't agree with them. Don't disagree or try to cheer them up. Be curious by truly listening to everything they say. You might accidentally help them discover what is really bothering them!

If they have a problem to solve, keep asking them questions and delve deeper into their answer. Just this once, see if by listening intently and not trying to fix their problem for them, they come up with an amazing solution. They will be happy and also might think you are brilliant!

You know what? You were just FOCUSED and RELAXED at the same time! I promise you - it's very relaxing to listen in a focused, curious way. It's actually fun and entertaining!!